Can someone send me random questions to distract me? I’m really triggered right know and want to purge and also cut, but i know i really shouldnt, i know all that. i just need a distraction. 

So please? HELP? <3

Please? I’d love you forever, and It doesnt even have to be just an hour…

Can answer some psych. questions to the best to my ability if you want, not fully certified yet but getting there. 

And any personal questions are open. 

Anon or not <3

http://innerpain92.tumblr.com/ask

When i’m told that i’m going to have these 20+ scars on my forarms and wrists for the rest of my life by a dr. i get worried. 

But then i remeber no…these are reminders, these are the last times i will get this low, the last time that i will let myself not seek out help when i feel this bad. 

So when you see these scars on my arms and stare (which let me tell you, you really need to work on covering up your stares, i mean how do you check someone out like that? you seem like such a creeper) i will never be hurt by it, you get to see a part of me that is serious, a part of me that proves i am strong, proves i can do anything.

theoddman-out:

but must resist…

So I had to go out and buy clothes and such because of my weight…social anxiety sky rocketed, I had bandaids all over my arms and caught more then a few people staring at my arms. 

Bought a plastic travel mug and individual green tea bags so I can drink that like crazy and not eat as much. 

I’m hoping my eating is going to be able to go down…they obviouslly dont have much food lying around on the ward…and what they do have is to me mostly disgusting…going to be checking off grapes and carrots mostly on my menu’s. 

Also went out to a used bookstore and bought THE BELL JAR and another Sylvia Plath book, and also Girl, Interrupted and Wintergirls to read in the ward. And my journals of Sylvia Plath book should be also coming on monday (700 pages) so I think i’m going to be set. and of course my diary and new pens. 

*Really finding it hard not to attempt before I go back into the ward…I know i’m not going to be able to fully commit suicide because I dont have enough pills to overdose…but I just Its hard and complicated…I still want to take all the pills I have and pray that somehow it works.*

cutting is going beyond normal…a couple of them I know i should be getting stitches for..but i’m not going to because my sisters birthday is tommorow and if i go in for stitches there just going to admit me. 

I cut a little to deep last night and it took over an hour for it to even just stop bleeding like pouring out. 

I’m eating like 700 calories a day, which i hate myself so much for because i should be eating A-L-O-T less, i feel beyond fat, i really do need to loose weight. 

Yes, if i live to monday i’m going to be admitted to the psych ward. 

Really? honestly i dont want any attention when i cut, or because i cut…really think of it, if i had attention towards me, like i sadly do know because i’ve been admitted already this year to a psych ward and then am being admitted next week again, i have attention towards it…i absolutly hate it, people/family constantly looking at my wrists, checking my body, telling me i dont need to do it and always talking about it. 

No i dont want attention, and even if i WANTED IT, WHICH I DONT…it wouldnt come from anyone over the internet or in public…think this through do you even think i would look for attention from strangers about my self harm? N-O because most people in this fucked up world if they figure out a person self harms they freak out, automatically call a person  crazy, and make them feel worse about themselves, so no i dont want attention because of my self harm.

serioully and you calling me an attention whore, just is making me have attention you dumb idiot, think of it like this…if someone has a cat and its just sitting in the corner are you going to pay attention to it? no, but when the cat makes noise your going to notice it. you calling me an attention whore is like the cat making noise your just making people pay more attention to me. 

So when you call me an attention whore your the one causing people to look,or talk, or pay attention to me you idiot dumb fuck. 

think shit through before you hate on someone.

i’m turning 20 next month…so not a teen. 

and attention whore? really? thats all you fucking got? i tell myself a hell of alot worse, so dont even try to fucking make me feel like crap asshole.