Can someone send me random questions to distract me? I’m really triggered right know and want to purge and also cut, but i know i really shouldnt, i know all that. i just need a distraction.
So please? HELP? <3
cutting is going beyond normal…a couple of them I know i should be getting stitches for..but i’m not going to because my sisters birthday is tommorow and if i go in for stitches there just going to admit me.
I cut a little to deep last night and it took over an hour for it to even just stop bleeding like pouring out.
I’m eating like 700 calories a day, which i hate myself so much for because i should be eating A-L-O-T less, i feel beyond fat, i really do need to loose weight.
Yes, if i live to monday i’m going to be admitted to the psych ward.
Really? honestly i dont want any attention when i cut, or because i cut…really think of it, if i had attention towards me, like i sadly do know because i’ve been admitted already this year to a psych ward and then am being admitted next week again, i have attention towards it…i absolutly hate it, people/family constantly looking at my wrists, checking my body, telling me i dont need to do it and always talking about it.
No i dont want attention, and even if i WANTED IT, WHICH I DONT…it wouldnt come from anyone over the internet or in public…think this through do you even think i would look for attention from strangers about my self harm? N-O because most people in this fucked up world if they figure out a person self harms they freak out, automatically call a person crazy, and make them feel worse about themselves, so no i dont want attention because of my self harm.
serioully and you calling me an attention whore, just is making me have attention you dumb idiot, think of it like this…if someone has a cat and its just sitting in the corner are you going to pay attention to it? no, but when the cat makes noise your going to notice it. you calling me an attention whore is like the cat making noise your just making people pay more attention to me.
So when you call me an attention whore your the one causing people to look,or talk, or pay attention to me you idiot dumb fuck.
think shit through before you hate on someone.
trying to calm down enough to not cut tonight so i dont blow everything…
but its not working, i really want to cut on my wrists, everything else just doesnt feel good…the possibility of me nicking something in my wrist is the only thing i want from cutting mostly anymore.
“omg i cut so deep lol”
“someone saw my cuts, it was so akward LMAO”
Seriously dumb bitch wtf is so funny about cutting yourself?!
All over my shirt, my wrist, my fingers, under my nails, and on my bed sheets from last nights cutting session…
didnt realize until this morning…parents walking around out side my door so i had to use my spit to clean it. forgot it on my shirt, yet they didnt say anything.
I’ve been in a mental hospital twice in my life, at the age of 14 and again at 19, this past january, and sadly being admitted again next week.
Know my stay as a teenager wasn’t so bad, they treated me like crap some moments but they were pretty ok.
Know adult mental health ward? crap beyond belief, they stay in the nurses station, and if the time gets away from you and you forget to go up and get your pills, they are suppose to come bring them to you..but no they screamed at me to be more responsible (really bitch i can barly fucking get out of bed and im suppose to remeber to take my damn pills fuck you).
No a mental hospital is not “fun” “interesting” or “a good story to tell”…you make any comment you were in a hospital for the mentally insane, even if its to friends you have known for years, they still might look at you as if your going to harm them.
And on another note, think of the severity that one must be in to be admitted to a mental hospital. i mean think of me getting admitted to the hospital this january…the ER doctor wasnt going to pass my case on to a psychiatrist for an evaluation because i hadn’t yet attempted suicide, even though i was planning to commit on sunday, and i was in the hospital seeing this doctor on friday. It takes extreme issues to be admitted to the hospital, and no one NO ONE should try to be that unstable.
I was admitted to the hospital because i would faint or have a panic attack just thinking of leaving my house, i was cutting upwards of 5-10 times a day, like i said i planned my suicide, i was restricting my food again, and pulling my hair out…and remeber i was almost turned away.
So please before you make this post about how you want to be in a mental hospital, please please think it through, you dont want to be in that place if you cant help it.
i REALLY want to just lie and say im not thinking of suicide anymore so i can get skinnier before i go back to the psych ward for a second time this year….i really just want to be 95 pounds again, and i really want to keep cutting.
i dont want to go back just yet.